To See an Imperfect Person Perfectly
by aquaXtreme
Summary: Bailey was right. She had finally found her 'Ben'.


**_I have recently fallen in love with April Kepner and she clearly deserves a little bit of (non-douchey) romance in her life. And with the CLEAR chemistry that she and Jackson Avery have, how could I refuse?..._**

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><p>It had all seemed so easy back then.<p>

When she was younger, April Kepner had always planned exactly how her life would pan out: she'd finish med school and become an excellent surgeon in a reputable hospital; she'd fall in love with a charming man who would love her back with every fibre of his being; they'd get married in a lavish and elegant ceremony; have beautiful kids (two boys and two girls to even everything out); and then, finally, she'd die a happy, medical award-winning grandmother at a ripe, old age.

She had had everything planned out to the most minute of details.

Of course, if she'd known she would end up a 28 year old virgin with a man willing to love her nowhere in sight while struggling with med school debts and living with her fellow surgeons, her 15 year old self would have revised her plans.

April sat in an on-call room, submerged in complete darkness as she contemplated her life and what it had come to. She often wished that she could go back to a time when life seemed to hold a bright, shiny future for her and when she hadn't yet been corrupted by life's many tragedies.

"God, if only Reed was here..." April sighed quietly as she lay down onto one of the beds. She tried not to think of her dead best friend but the memories (the altogether horribly vivid memories) would come and haunt her whenever she dozed off or daydreamed. Her nose began to sting as her mind went back to the moment she'd first found her corpse.

She'd fallen in Reed's blood; her clothes dripping with it everywhere she looked; the dead vacancy in her once joyful eyes; the blood- so much blood...

The urge to vomit increased ten-fold within her.

"April?" The auburn haired woman glanced up as the door opened, letting in a crack of light into the otherwise bleak room. She smiled grimly at Jackson as he slipped inside. "You alright?"

"Close the door," she responded, turning her body towards the wall. Jackson frowned at her behaviour before hesitantly shutting the door behind him, drowning them in darkness once again.

"April?"

"Do you think about them?"

He quirked an eyebrow at her question, gently nudging her still body aside so he could crawl into the bed next to her. The two lay there, back to back, listening to each other's breathing patterns as he thought the question over.

"Who's 'them'?"

"Charlie and Reed." April instantly felt guilty for bringing the topic up as the man beside her unwillingly tensed up at the subject of their dead friends. "Jackson?"

"...Yeah. Yeah, I do think about them."

"All the time or sometimes or-"

"April, what the hell?" Jackson hissed, swivelling his body around to face her back. "What's brought this on?"

"Nothing...it's...it's stupid."

"Then it won't matter if you tell me."

"Jackson-"

"April. Look at me."

April reluctantly turned around to face him, their bodies uncomfortably close together due to the lack of space the bed provided.

"I miss them. Well, Reed mostly but...Charlie's in there too," April murmured softly causing Jackson to let out a small chuckle. He sighed tiredly.

"That's not stupid, April. I miss them too," Jackson muttered, staring up at the bottom of the upper bunk bed. "Sometimes...sometimes, I wonder what life would be like right now if they-"

"Were still alive?" April interrupted, glancing up at the man next to her before quickly looking away. "I do that."

Jackson nodded slowly.

"Is it bad that I seriously can't imagine them in our lives now?"

"No," she sighed. "I guess we've changed so much..."

"Sure as hell doesn't feel like it."

They fell into silence, simply choosing to listen to the bustling sounds of people outside the room which felt like their temporary sanctuary.

"What if we had died then?"

"What?"

April quickly sat up, her eyes unfocused as she stared off into the distance.

"What if we had died instead of Charlie and Reed? Do you think they would have missed us?"

"I'm sure the-"

"What if we were meant to die then and it was only pure luck that stopped that from happening?" She whispered, clutching Jackson's hand. He squeezed her hand softly, bringing her focus back onto him.

"April, don't think like that. Not only is it unhealthy, it's disturbing and slightly crazy."

She slapped him playfully on the arm, laughing gently as she did so.

"But, really...Jackson, what if-"

"No, stop it April," Jackson stated, his voice firm. "We lived and it may as well have been pure damn luck but we survived. Just...just don't think about it anymore. It's better that way."

"But-"

"No."

"Jackson, we have to talk about this!" April snapped, snatching her hand out of his hold. "They were our friends and-"

"You think I don't know that?" He asked, struggling to keep his frustration out of his voice. "I have nightmares for a reason, April. Of course I miss them, of course I wonder 'what if' but I try to not let it affect my job and my life because dwelling on it creates nothing but more problems!" Jackson snarled, his voice steadily getting louder and louder. He took a deep breath, noticing the glazed look in her eye and the tears that were about to fall. "Oh God..."

April sniffed and bit her lower lip, her shoulders shaking as tears silently rolled down her cheeks. Jackson sighed tiredly once again before enveloping her in his arms, rubbing his hands comfortingly on her back as he whispered softly in her ear.

"I'm sorry, April. I didn-"

"No, it's alright," she replied, her head resting against his chest causing her voice to become muffled. "I'm sorry. I was just being irrational and crazy and..."

"Shh," Jackson whispered, quickly kissing the top of her head. She clutched him tighter, taking deep breaths in order to calm herself.

"You're right. I shouldn't let it affect my life too much," April mumbled, burying her head deeper into his chest. Jackson chuckled at her words.

"And, I guess, you're right too. We do have to talk about...it one day," He replied, glancing down at the auburn haired woman in his arms. "Not now...but one day."

"Thank you," April smiled, extracting herself from his hold as she wiped away any remaining tears on her face.

"For what?"

"Just...for being there. Every single time," She laughed. He smiled down at her before pushing her back down onto the bed.

"Wha-"

"Go to sleep, Kepner," Jackson stated as he climbed in after her.

"What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm about to go to sleep," He replied before turning around to face her, a smug smirk on his face. "Why? Am I making you uncomfortable?"

April blushed a deep red before stammering out a hasty 'no' and quickly laying her body down onto the bed. She shifted periodically, stubbornly trying to prevent any part of her body touching his while, at the same time, trying to resist cuddling up to the extra warmth his body provided.

"Stop moving so damn much," Jackson muttered sleepily.

"Sorry," She whispered back. She couldn't help but shift once more (she didn't know whether it was just to annoy him) before he turned around to face her, letting one of his arms fall over her stomach. "Again, what are you doing?"

"Making sure you don't move and disturb my sleep," Jackson grunted. April scowled and tried to push it off of her. Eventually, she gave up when he retaliated by applying more pressure and strength.

"Alright, alright, I won't move. Sheesh."

"Good girl."

"Shut up."

April lay there, with his hand covering her stomach, before her mind unknowingly began lingering on the idea of 'the one'; something (or, rather, someone) she'd been waiting for her entire life. And, suddenly, she began to connect that thought to ones of Robert Stark.

She didn't feel attracted to him in any way and, yet, she'd agreed to go out on a date with him. Why? Because he'd been charming and kind and had treated her with the utmost of respect and she had always dreamt of marrying a man exactly like that. So, when Stark had popped up, she'd taken that opportunity, dreading the fact that maybe 'the one' didn't exist after all.

"Jackson?" April whispered, reaching over to gently nudge him. "You awake?"

He groaned, slowly opening one eye to look at her.

"I am now. What?"

"Do you believe in 'The One'?"

"The what?"

"'The One'. You know, that special someone you're meant to spend your life with?"

"I don't know. I'm sleep deprived."

"Jackson!"

"Alright! I guess not. I think that there might be more than one person that could be perfect for someone," He cleared his throat, rubbing his eyes to clear away the sleep before focusing on the woman next to him. "Why?"

"No reason."

"April. Why?"

She sighed.

"Do you think Dr Stark could be my 'one'?"

Jackson snorted, his shoulders shaking slightly with silent laughter at the thought. He glanced over at her, a grin on his face.

"No way in hell."

"Really? How come?"

"He's too old, too boring, too-"

"Alright, so he's not my 'one'," April muttered, a frown on her face. "I probably don't have a 'one' at all; I've just been deluding myself for all these years and I'll stay a virgin forever with no one to really love and-"

"Hey, hey, April," Jackson whispered, placing his hand under her chin to get her to look at him. "I'm sure you'll find someone to fall in love with."

"That's not what I meant! It's easy to fall in love with someone but it's harder to get them to reciprocate your feelings!" She snapped, glaring at him. "Not that you'd know, of course," She sneered. Jackson narrowed his eyes at her.

"What does that mean?"

"What does that mean? Are you that cocky that you want me to say it out loud?" April growled. "You get people to fall in love with you every minute of every bloody day with just one charming smile. You get to pick whoever you want to fall in love with while the rest of us have to scrape by. Beggars can't be choosers, huh?"

"April!"

"Don't 'April' me!"

"April!" Jackson yelled, standing up and off of the bed. "Are you really that oblivious?"

"Great, so now you're insulting my intelligence?" She lashed out, her face crumpling with anger. "I should just go!" April muttered, heading towards the closed door, her arm reaching for the handle.

"Apri-"

"Just leave me alo-" She suddenly yelped as he pulled her back by the elbow, causing her to lose balance and stumble to the ground, dragging him along with her. They both grunted with pain as they landed in a crumpled heap on the ground, inches from the bed post where they could've hit their heads.

"That hurt," April muttered, blinking to get a hold of herself. She noticed the disorientated male on top of her and scowled. "Get off already!"

"What?" Jackson frowned before getting a hold of his bearings. He grinned down at the auburn haired woman pinned underneath him. "Well, as long as you're here, you might as well listen."

"Avery, I'm not being funny!" She snapped, using all of her strength to push him off her. He simply chuckled at her attempts before grabbing her wrists and holding them down. "You know, this could so be counted for as sexual harassment."

"Calm down, April. Nothing's going to happen, I just want to talk to you."

"Then talk to me properly with both of us standing up!"

"No chance there because you'll more than likely walk away."

April sighed, rolling her eyes at her companion.

"If I promise to not walk away, will you get off me?"

"Nope," Jackson smirked before readjusting himself. "I quite like it here. It's very comfortable."

April's cheeks burned a dark red at his comment causing her to slap him on the back of his head.

"What did I do now?"

"Get off!"

"April, it's my turn to talk so you just lie there, shut up and listen, alright?" He stated, staring straight into the woman's eyes. The ever-present blush bloomed a deeper shade. "What I don't get is why you keep self-deprecating yourself! You don't see that you're an amazing person simply because people don't tell you that every minute of every day or because people don't want to go out with you?" Jackson snapped, his grip on her tightening slightly. "You're unbelievable, you know that?"

"I-"

"No talking! Yes, you're annoying, you're controlling, you're more than a little crazy at times, you're hardly perfect but-"

"Is this going anywhere?"

"Shh. But, to me, you're smart, funny, kind, organized and a hell of a lot attractive so why do you keep putting yourself down?"

"Attractive? I'm not-"

"April, you need to shut up so I can finish talking," She nodded sheepishly. "Do you know why I became friends with you?" April shook her head slowly, her eyes flickering between his eyes and his lips that were dangerously close to her own. "Because you were the only female there who wasn't throwing yourself at me."

"Tha-that was because I knew I didn't have...a shot with you..." April whispered, the hair on the back of her neck standing up on edge.

"There you go again with putting yourself down."

"Jackson-"

Her eyes widened as his lips connected with hers, cutting her words off. For what seemed like eternity, she lay there, in shock and unresponsive. Her heart seemed to be beating quicker than ever before as the man on top of her rested his hands on her hips. Panic rose within her but she squashed it before, almost instinctively, she responded to his kiss with a fervor matching his own. Her arms wrapped themselves around his neck, pulling him closer while he somehow managed to get his around her waist.

Eventually, they broke off, each gasping for air. Jackson chuckled, resting his forehead against hers.

"When...what...why?" April managed to get out in between her breaths, a smile on her swollen lips. He grinned down at her, kissing her once again.

"When? I don't know but I guess...ever since you chose not to throw yourself at me when we met but I didn't really notice until a few weeks ago," He answered, resting his head against her neck as he tried to recollect his breath.

"A few weeks...that was when I almost slept with Karev and you...you beat him up for me," She smiled before pressing a small kiss against his cheek. "I never did thank you for that."

"The what...well, you should know what that was. After all, you are a doctor so you should have a thorough understanding of biology. As for the why," Jackson interlaced his fingers with hers as he left a trail of kisses down her neck, leaving her to try and prevent the sounds of pleasure from escaping her mouth in order to not over inflate his ego. "well, the why is because...I've fallen for you, April Kepner. Hard."

She scoffed at his comment before taking a deep breath when she realized he wasn't joking.

"But...me? Out of all the women you could have...me?"

"You're one of a kind, Dr Kepner," He mumbled, stealing another kiss from her pink lips yet again. April let go of his hands and tightened them around his neck, bringing him suffocatingly close to her own body.

"Are you sure about this?"

"Positive."

"I can get crazy."

"Nothing I haven't seen before."

"I mean, crazier than before."

Jackson smirked before suppressing a groan as her lips rested against his, serving to only tease him.

"I'm sure I'll survive."

"Good," April whispered before he kissed her, his hands getting tangled in her hair as her hold on him tightened with every second. During this, she couldn't help but think that, though her life may not have turned out exactly how she planned it, it was still pretty damn good (as seen by the devilishly handsome man currently on top of her who was evoking feelings within her that no man had ever created before). Overall, she was happy with the way her life was piecing itself back together, even if it was turning out to be nothing like her 15 year old self would've dreamed it being.

Planning was overrated anyway...

...Sometimes.

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><p><strong><em>Well, I hope you liked that. Not even being funny, I am in a total craze for AveryKepner. I just spent the whole day watching Grey's Anatomy episodes just to find the slightest interaction between their characters in order for me to interpret it in my dirty mind as it being completely romantic (yes, this happens when I'm obsessed with a ship, sad to say). _**

**_...Anywho, until next time! :) (P.S have a lovely Easter, guys!)_**


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